Debt-laden graduates, affluent alumni, birds-of-a-feather faculty and tuition-burdened parents: I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that I won’t be sucking up to you with the same old graduation platitudes. You should have invited Oprah: “How do you know when you’re doing something right? How do you know that? It feels so.” Or Michael Dell: “The
key is to listen to your heart and let it carry you in the direction of your dreams.” Or Hillary Clinton: “Give it your all. Dare to be all you can be.”
Those are so vapid as to be meaningless—and you young’uns need real advice. So unscrunchie your man-buns, stop posting anonymous snark on YikYak, and listen up.
If you want to really change the world, get a P&L—as in, a profit and loss statement. Those of you I hear gagging in the humanities section are going to have to unlearn a few things. Harvard recently released a survey showing that over half of Americans ages 18 to 29 do not support capitalism. Ouch. You can almost feel the Bern.
Don’t be fooled. Capitalism is what allowed you to wander around this leafy campus for four years worrying about finals instead of foraging for food. It delivered the Greek yogurt to your cafeteria and assembled your Prius. The basic idea is to postpone consumption. Then invest in production to supply goods and services that delight customers. Next, generate profits. Rinse and repeat.
To succeed in life, to really improve the lot of your fellow man, you have to think about profits. I know, you’d rather clean a gas station restroom with your toothbrush. But profit is what drives change.